Joe Bazooka loved him some boobies- I mean obsessed is a complete understatment! The movie Bazookas starts with a heated tennis match between a huge boobed chick and a very nervous guy. The deal here is if the kid wins, him and Mr. Bazooka get to see her big jugs along with everything else on her menu. The guys pulls off the win and passes out after seeing the goods.

 

Well Mr. Bazooka ends up dead and his two sons are left to battle it out for the future of the gym. Angus has so many days to come up with the money to save it while Judah wants it to fail so he can build a more commercialized project. So Angus and his workers come up with some news ways to bring in customers like the new shower cams, striptease classes and more hot chicks.  

 

It's your typical B movie with plenty of boobs, corny lines and some girlie shower scenes that will impress the novice "bonified" watcher with a gasp or two. I've seen better but I have seen WAY worse. It's the kind of flick you would find on late at night so it might even lull you back to sleep if your careful- if not you'll be pitching a tent for sure!

Fatal Secrets

Directed by- Meir Sharony

90 minutes

Release date- March 29, 2011

 

 

 

 

 

 

What would you do if just went thru a divorce and was teetering on the edge with the thought of possibly finding someone new and you meet a man that you think is just wonderful- do you go on a date? Well Julia does and  heseemed just perfect for her until his slimy ass turns out to be a conniving scumbag who likes to rape women after lulling them into thinking he's some great person.

 

While watching Fatal Secrets you will loathe Scott and wish you could kick his pearly whites down his throat among other horrible things. Sorry but this man is so easy to hate. Julia harbors this awful secret until one of her friends Sharlene comes over and she breaks down and confides in her. Apparently this is a touchy subject for Sharlene and they decide to get their other friend in for some payback on Scott.

 

Rebecca (played by Lea Thompson) decides she's in for the long haul and they all decide it's time to pay Scott a little social visit. Poor, poor Scott end up tied to a chair and has three masked assailants scaring him and threatening to kill him if he doesn't confess on tape for his crimes. Do you think they can really pull this off and get the job done?   

 

I mean what if he some how gets loose and turns the table on them? Could the three gals handle that sort of situation? Or what if for some reason their plan goes wrong and someone ends up really hurt...or even dead? Can any of them live with that on their conscious? I honestly couldn't, I mean I'd knock him around a little bit but if he winded up dead I would not be able to sleep!

Suburban Sasquatch

 

You always hear of people down in those swampy Southern states claiming to have seen that big hairy beast big foot or other wise known as Sasquatch. Now we see TV programs about it and people wasting their lives trying to find evidence that they even exist. Well in David Wascavage's flick Suburban Sasquatch, the beast is real and tormenting everyone-including residents inside their own homes.

Low budgets the name, and fun is the game. Here this sasquatch is very different - it's actually magical and normal measures of destruction will not cause this beast to drop, only magical weapons will work and cause it to cease to exist. Can the Indian girl whose grandfather taught her the ropes help before all of the neighbors end up with pancake heads?

OK, here is my opinion- You could expect to find this one on TV late at night on some B movie channel with hokey generated effects and a man running around iside some fuzzy gorilla looking suit instead of anything scary what so ever. BUT you know this going in so your not disappointed by any of the above. Plus if you don't like it you can always fast forward it. 

Half Moon

80 Minutes

2011

Directed by Jason Toler

 

Anything goes when it comes to ho's cause pimping ain't easy, and you'll see this and more when you watch Jason Toler's Half Moon. A cute but seriously down on her luck prostitute named Rose takes over a friends trick when the girl is caught copping a squat and is arrested. Finally things seem to be looking up and cash will keep her in good with her pimp for awhile.

 

The city is alert with fear as a serial killer runs around killing off prostitutes and it seems he also ripped the throat out of a bum. Rose risks it and crosses the strip against her better judgement to make a buck and meets Kevin the man with all the cash. He has her sit and eat dinner with him then she throws him in a chair for a sizzling lap dance that does nothing for him.    

 

Can Rose calm this man down enough to enjoy himself? Or will those pains he keeps having do him in? He tells her that he has to take shots to keep the pain away and that he is a real werewolf. She can't help but think he is completely full of shit, but then doubts start to creep into her head and she starts to second guess herself.

 

What would you do?  I'll tell you what I wouldn't do and that's trust no one- people are fucked up and greedy so they usually do or say what they need to in order to get what they want. But she is in a pretty tough situation here, trust him and untie him from the chair or not trust him and pray that he isn't a werewolf cause if he is she's screwed. 

Respire

Coming in February 2011

Directed by: David A. Cross 

 

 

 

A pretty blond named Susan has barely any time left since she is deathly ill. Everyday is filled with tons of pain pills and her face buried in the bowl from her treatment. One day Raif Collins shows up at Susan's curio shop looking for a specific item and hires her to go to an auction and get it for him. Little does she know the mess she is about to get herself into.

 

After she nabs the item she brings it home and finds there is a key buried in the back and uses it to open the box she has. Inside holds the treasure of a vial that contains Dr. Robert Kaminsky's formula to prolong life, so she downs it without a second thought. She is now in remission and the only bad thing seems to be these extremely violent flashbacks and complete fits of rage.

 

Nick Poe was at the auction as well and was outbid by Susan and he didn't like that one bit. He shows up at her house and after some bickering and bantering they leave. Raif turns out to be someone completely different then he lets on and when Susan figures this out she turns to Poe for help. They capture Raif and make him tell them where the stolen vials are.

 

They vials were sold from another Wiccan like novelty stores and soon the town is in a killing frenzied state. I enjoyed Respire and thought the flashbacks/ visions that Susan had were perfectly eerie and fit well into the film. They left it open for a sequel if they really wanted to do one- I wouldn't mind seeing a second installment, not at all!

 

 

Hearts at Stake- author G.L. Giles

Copyright 2010

ISBN: 978-1- 4535- 8212-1   Softcover edition

Xlibris Coporate

 

Hearts at Stake by G.L. Giles is a compilation of short stories, lyrics, poems and a few songs that will be used on the next Beltane album. At the very end of the book Giles tells you her personal account of the struggle of losing her weight, but she did it in a way you would of never expected- by becoming a vegetarian. Giles lost over 40 pounds in just three short months. Giles is also a contributor to MetaCreative Magazine and Psychic Times International so you should definitely check those publications out. She is a master at the vampire genre- and what I mean by this is the stories all have some of the typical vampire folklore but she has created many of her own vampire species that are extremely unique and very captivating.

Bleading Lady

76 mins

3/29/2011

Directed by Ryan Nicholson 

 

 

 

The super sleazy and shocking horror guru Ryan Nicholson is blasting back onto the scene with Bleading Lady. I'll admit it when I see Nicholson's name I get fucking psyched- he has no limits when it comes to film making which I personally find to be a good thing. The same shit over and over tends to bore a person- ya know?

 

They story here is how Don is absolutely ecstatic to be chauffeuring his all time favorite Scream Queen  Riversa Red back and forth from her new films set to the place where she is staying. Don is very obsessed with her and if anyone so much as bad mouths her he wont hesitate to smash their face repeatedly against a wooden fence. 

 

He flatters her constantly and treats her like a goddess while loving the fact that she actually pays him attention with a slight friendship. Now this just feeds fuel to his desires of having Miss. Red all to himself. Little by little Don starts to become more violent and starts snapping on the set and downing everyone except Riversa of course.  

 

I remember reading about it awhile ago when I was doing the news for www.horrornews.com and thought it sounded like a flick I could really get into. I thought the part where the are walking thru the dirt into the woods where death is sure to consume them was a tad drawn out but maybe it was like that because I am sure time seems slow when you know your gonna die!