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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol

Directed by: Aramis Sartorio
91 Minutes
Release Date 3/27/2012
A total loser named Tommy Pistol is running about forty five minutes late to an audition so he speeds down the road like a maniac trying to get there. Well the director tells him to fuck off so he heads home to his girlfriend and their son. He comes in earlier an usual since he was fired from his job at the record store.
So now his family has left him because he can not manage to get his priorities straight- they are all fucked up! Now his hot wife is gone so he gets naked on the couch with a penis pump, some porn and just goes at it.This guys such a loser he can't even stay awake to masturbate!
So in his head he's walking down the street and comes to a whore named Daisy who is willing. Too bad for her the spider that bites her gives her a staph infection that goes wild and rampant. This part of the film is absolutely vomit worthy so you might need a bucket or trough for that matter. There are a few sequences in this dream stage but I'm not gonna ruin it for ya!

Monday, July 16, 2012

Operation: Nazi Zombies

Release Date: 2012
87 Minutes
Directed by: David B. Stewart III
David B. Stewart III's Operation: Nazi Zombies actually sat on the shelf for about four years before it was picked up for distribution. After you view it, you can decide for yourself if you think it should of permanently stayed there! So here we have a group of Army Special Forces that head out to this secret biological weapons facility and things get a tad hectic!
They become infected by this Nazi experiment that was recreated by the Army Chemical Corps and the CIA after World War II. These poor boys are stuck with some hungry zombies and also the Government assassins from hell! Which one do you think you'd rather be stuck with let alone both? Talk about a living hell!
Imagine being thrown there to die with those flesh eating bastards...only the strong will survive the debauchery they were pushed in to. The zombies were cool looking and in the one scene it's cries were particularly disturbing as he repetitively did it. I have screened plenty of zombie movies, and this is one of the better ones.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Mourning Wood

Release Date: July 24th 2012
Directed by: Ryan Convery
79 Minutes

In Ryan Convery's film Mourning Wood, the infomercial Guru Dr. Jacob Pendelton has invented products like Dick Killer condoms and his newest discovery is called Shampube. It promises to remove all that funk down below. Well it removes the grime but you turn into a sex crazed zombie who humps everything!
Now you have to be able to handle this whole concept because the sperm in splashing all over in this one- I mean buckets full. Everyone that comes into contact with these vile perverted fucks end up white washed in spew! Did I laugh? At times I honestly did but a know a few women who would be all uptight with it and freak.
I loved that alot of the actors play several different parts in the film, when you watch you'll see what I mean. To enjoy this film you need an open mind and a wild sense a humor. It's campy B movie hi jinks  will have you giggling or muttering "Ew, gross!" If you could dream up a different way to be infected by a zombie what would you choose?