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Friday, March 25, 2011

Joe Bazooka loved him some boobies- I mean obsessed is a complete understatment! The movie Bazookas starts with a heated tennis match between a huge boobed chick and a very nervous guy. The deal here is if the kid wins, him and Mr. Bazooka get to see her big jugs along with everything else on her menu. The guys pulls off the win and passes out after seeing the goods.
Well Mr. Bazooka ends up dead and his two sons are left to battle it out for the future of the gym. Angus has so many days to come up with the money to save it while Judah wants it to fail so he can build a more commercialized project. So Angus and his workers come up with some news ways to bring in customers like the new shower cams, striptease classes and more hot chicks.  
It's your typical B movie with plenty of boobs, corny lines and some girlie shower scenes that will impress the novice "bonified" watcher with a gasp or two. I've seen better but I have seen WAY worse. It's the kind of flick you would find on late at night so it might even lull you back to sleep if your careful- if not you'll be pitching a tent for sure!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Fatal Secrets

Directed by- Meir Sharony
90 minutes
Release date- March 29, 2011
What would you do if just went thru a divorce and was teetering on the edge with the thought of possibly finding someone new and you meet a man that you think is just wonderful- do you go on a date? Well Julia does and  heseemed just perfect for her until his slimy ass turns out to be a conniving scumbag who likes to rape women after lulling them into thinking he's some great person.
While watching Fatal Secrets you will loathe Scott and wish you could kick his pearly whites down his throat among other horrible things. Sorry but this man is so easy to hate. Julia harbors this awful secret until one of her friends Sharlene comes over and she breaks down and confides in her. Apparently this is a touchy subject for Sharlene and they decide to get their other friend in for some payback on Scott.
Rebecca (played by Lea Thompson) decides she's in for the long haul and they all decide it's time to pay Scott a little social visit. Poor, poor Scott end up tied to a chair and has three masked assailants scaring him and threatening to kill him if he doesn't confess on tape for his crimes. Do you think they can really pull this off and get the job done?   
I mean what if he some how gets loose and turns the table on them? Could the three gals handle that sort of situation? Or what if for some reason their plan goes wrong and someone ends up really hurt...or even dead? Can any of them live with that on their conscious? I honestly couldn't, I mean I'd knock him around a little bit but if he winded up dead I would not be able to sleep!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Suburban Sasquatch

You always hear of people down in those swampy Southern states claiming to have seen that big hairy beast big foot or other wise known as Sasquatch. Now we see TV programs about it and people wasting their lives trying to find evidence that they even exist. Well in David Wascavage's flick Suburban Sasquatch, the beast is real and tormenting everyone-including residents inside their own homes.
Low budgets the name, and fun is the game. Here this sasquatch is very different - it's actually magical and normal measures of destruction will not cause this beast to drop, only magical weapons will work and cause it to cease to exist. Can the Indian girl whose grandfather taught her the ropes help before all of the neighbors end up with pancake heads?
OK, here is my opinion- You could expect to find this one on TV late at night on some B movie channel with hokey generated effects and a man running around iside some fuzzy gorilla looking suit instead of anything scary what so ever. BUT you know this going in so your not disappointed by any of the above. Plus if you don't like it you can always fast forward it.