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Sunday, January 31, 2010

Dirtbags: Evil Never Felt So Good

Dirtbags: Evil Never Felt so Good was getting put on the shelves at the DVD store when the District Manager at FYE/Coconuts noticed it and took it back into his office to take a quick peek at it so he could get the jist of what it was about. When he was finished he hopped on the buyer and told him that if they didn't pull it from the shelves he was contacting the corporate office stat!

Even though the cover says appearance by Peter Steele don't expect a lot he's only present for a little bit. The humor is crude, racist and homophobic- yet you can't help but laugh every now and then no matter how corny it is. You can get an inside look at how men are and what they find funny. It's definitely out of your normal range for film watching that's for sure!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010


Let me tell you what, Cash is one big bad mother who most men don't stand a chance against. Well Cash has gotten out of the slammer and he is dead set on revenge with Hector Gonzales. Hector murdered his wife over ten years ago and he has been waiting that long to get a piece of that son of a bitch and he won't rest till he does.

Cash sets out looking for old Hector and slaughters everything in his path that has anything to do with that Hector. He is like a hound dog on the trail, with the strong scent of the one man he hates with a passion. There will be no rest for this man until he gets what he wants. You watch and see the one man who seems to be the most dreaded vigalanti that these men have ever known.

Everyone around town is looking for Cash and the orders are to get his ass, but alive. Alive so they can torture him slow and hard until he caves like a little bitch, but even if he was caught I highly doubt he would do anything sissy like...ever! He shows up at the warehouse ready to interrogate all of Hectors henchmen until he gets the info he wants.

Even though this man is like a mass murderer and he should repulse you, you can't help but root on each and every kill he makes. He is avenging his wife'smurder so you can kind of put off the disgust of the bloody trail. Will cash get the man he wants? Or will he be captured and tortured instead? You'll never know if you don't watch-cause I'm not telling!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Speed Dating

Release date- January 19, 2010

James Van Der Bexton is headed for the big 30 and since he lost his true love about two years ago and is having no luck with the women he tries speed dating. At first he keeps lying to all of the women he meets telling them he works for some elite company. It just seems like he isn't really putting his all into finding someone to get serious with.

Then James sees a beautiful girl in a bar who he finds out her name is Victoria and decides to watch her and learn what he can about her so he climbs up on the roof of the building next to hers and spys on her. Victoria spots him and he falls off the building and runs away only to get hit by a car. He ends up in the hospital with amnesia.

His nurse Susan decides to help him remember the bits and pieces of his life so he can be at peace, it's driving him crazy. So they look for clues at the speed dating place he was going to a lot before his accident. As he goes about meeting different women, he looks over and sees Susan enjoying herself with one of the men and it really hits him how much he is into her.

Will James ever get his memory back so he can figure out his past and future? He is participating in a sting operation and his ex shows up tickling his feelings for her back into motion. Will he pick her over Susan? Or will James lose both of them and be stuck hanging out at the bar by himself and hitting up those speed dating services?

Monday, January 4, 2010

Watch Out

Release date- 2008

Watch Out should of been titled Watch Me since all Jonathan Barrows liked to do was look at and love himself. You know from the very first scene that this movie was going to be unique and outrageous. Jonathan was totally asexual meaning he loved himself and everyone else seemed to be beneath him. He had an onslaught of insults waiting for whoever he came into contact with.

You can tell that there is something severely wrong with this man. Maybe you could even classify him as delusional, yes, it's really that bad! But I don't think the poor guy had a chance in hell, I mean just look at those wacks that are considered his parents. By Jonathan's demeanor you would think that he was gay, he is very effeminate and the way he speaks just screams gay.

The part that cracked me up but was still totally messed up was when he was in this hotel room lying naked in the bed with a camera and a blow up doll. He could not get enough of himself and I don't wanna ruin it for you so I won't spill the sordid beans. Eventually his little mind cracks and he does things to ease his pain, like murdering people. Matt Riddlehoover is superb in this role, it doesn't get any better than him!

The film was twisted and somewhat different then most of the movies I watch so it was refreshing to get a change of scenery even though it was focused on some metal case. It made my own twisted family seem like the Brady Bunch when watching Jonathan interact with his. There are just some lessons a person should learn on their own.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Hooking Up

Release Date- December 8, 2009

How can you not love a movie that's opening line is "Would you ever taste your own cum?" That's just classic. This movie was funny and had a bunch of quirky addicting characters. April was this teenager who loved to give head and does so to three guys one right after the other at a party. It makes you remember all those crazy experimental days back in the day.

These teens are sex crazy and I know your thinking, what kid isn't but damn they did way the hell more than I even had knowledge of at that age. Corey Feldman stars as Ryan the older guy who dates Caroline who unfortunately is in love with him. He is just using her for sex and amusement for his friends. He will be breaking her heart in no time.

Dickhead Ryan reminded me of my first serious boyfriend...yuck! No one wants to remember their first relationship where they were all naive thinking they were in love and they would be with that person
forever. This movie is like a twentieth century Fast Times at Ridgemont High with way more sex and double the shenanigans.

Can't anyone in this movie keep their pants on? If you are in your teens you might learn a thing or two about what it's like to go thru that sexual peak and survive! Hooking Up is a trip you definitely wanna take if you get the chance, it's something you won't forget for a long time and I guarantee you'll either try convince your friends to watch it or you'll being telling someone about something you saw in it!