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Sunday, June 7, 2009


Poor Melvin can’t catch a break. He’s your average dorky nerd who has no balls to say no to the nagging tattoed cheerleaders who want him to do their homework for them. Then there is a trio of punk rocker assholes that relentlessly torment him day after day. Watching you can’t help but feel bad for him, it’s just wrong to be picked on like that.

One day a prank turns ugly and they leave poor Melvin to die. Now there’s Norton and he is like Melvin in many ways…specifically his glasses and nerdiness in general. Wendy befriends him and seems to be the only friend he has. The only reason that she likes him is because he reminds her of her dead brother Melvin.

One night after Norton gets meth slipped in his drink at a party he cuts thru the cemetary on his way home and walks past Melvins grave and not soon after a dead Melvin bites him. Guess what Norton is now? He goes home cleans his bite and tries to go to sleep. He keeps having these horrible nightmares that he is going out and killing people.

Are they just nightmares, or is Norton turning into a zombie at night? Soon you watch as Norton is followed by the police since they suspect he has something to do with a murder in his apartment building. I kept my fingers crossed that zombie Norton would come across those punks and eat them alive. Can Norton ever be saved?

3 outta 5 Slashes

Monday, June 1, 2009

Blood Wars

90 MinutesDirected by: Tom Shell

Tony Todd plays Julien, the leader a vampire in a coven that has been around for decades. The coven has an ongoing fight with the Centrys that roam amongst the earth with a vengeance for vampire blood, they wish they could exterminate them completely- it just is not as easy as you would think it would be. Julien is ready to hand over the throne to who is deemed worthy.

Will, a hippie who usually keeps his head down and his mouth shut somehow manages to overcome his shyness and puts the moves on Goth Ashley’s friend Jayne. Will’s roomie Rico is kinda crushing on Ashley’s ass but she is going thru a rough break up with dickhead Darren who lives to bully anyone he can get his hands on. Darren has a little secret of his own and don’t get him mad enough to use it.

Will and Jayne are alone and attacked by Darren who plans on raping her and killing him. Things get out of control and instead Darren is the one who ends up depleted. Somehow Will is changing and he can’t figure out the cause. When reality sinks in can Will accept his fate or will he fight it tooth and nail to the end? See what side of the fence he lands on in this vampire comedy.

3 outta 5 Slashes

Hide- Out June 30th on DVD

Here we have Billy and Betty a sexy, southern Mickey and Mallory with a seriously checkered path behind them. After their bank robbery Billy was caught and put behind bars but Betty narrowly escaped. Now seven years later Betty busts him out during a transfer back to Louieville and hopes to pick up where they left off. When they were last together they were crazy in love and had no qualms about killing and messing people up.

Now Billy has sat behind bars for so long thinking about that past and eventually it got him thinking about how it was wrong and God’s going to pay them back for what they have done. Betty hasn’t changed one bit and she is really not liking this new attitude of his, it’s seriously weirding her out. When they robbed that bank Billy hid the money near this church and now they are all set to go get it!

When they get to the town where it all happened it’s completely deserted. It’s like they showed up after the apocalypse since everything was left like it was clothes, stores, and even a few old amusements. They go back to the diner and you see all the bullet holes in the cement building where the showdown took place. Billy then goes to try and fix the car while Betty has a scary encounter that leaves her wanting out of there as fast as possible.

There is someone else there with them and it seems he wants to make them pay for their sins. This man was treated poorly as a child and those memories seemed to have made him into a monster seeking vengeance. I really liked this film. It reminded me of when me and my fiancee got together, we were wild like that and so in love but without all of the killing ofcourse!