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Sunday, October 25, 2009

Hanger

OMG! If you want to watch Hanger you better bring your own barf bag, it’s one of the most over the top disgusting films I have seen in a long time. In it Rose (Debbie Rochon) is a pregnant hooker who’s pimp wanted her to abort that unborn baby since it was bad for business and would make her a fat pig. Her pimp Leroy shows up wanting his money and tells her she better get it soon or else she’s gonna be beat.

The one man that seems to care for her is one of her customers who also turns out to be the baby’s daddy. Leroy catches Rose trying to leave town and grabs a shiny coat hanger and shoves it deep inside of her causing the baby to abort itself. You get a full frontal shot of this up close and personal and it was so gross it made my own womanly insides cringe at the thought of that being done to my uterus. I think I threw up a little in my mouth watching!

Then it’s eighteen years later and Hanger is all grown up and deformed and goes to live with his daddy. He gets a job with a bunch of other freaks in this scrap yard kind of place and makes a friend with the scary looking Chinese guy named Russell who has a bloody used tampon fetish. The other guy at work is a total jerk and tells Hanger he is just a bottom feeder so get used to it.

Well this guy one day dresses up like Santa and delivers Hanger and Russell a pizza.
Here that Pizza was laced with drugs that knocked them out and the guy rapes both of them. When he rams Hanger he pushes plenty of fecal material out that smushes all over him and the guys penis like melted chocolate in the hot sun. I was totally skeeved so the scene definitely achieved what it aimed to. Hanger is ready to avenge his mom’s death along with his father so Leroy better watch out. Can these two make this bastard pay for what he has done? Or will Leroy get the upper hand and off them both?

God of Vampires

God of Vampires started with a blow out murder suicide, what’s a better way to start than that? Here we have the professional killer Frank Ng who has been contacted by a weird little bald man to kill a Chinese crime lord. He goes in thinking this will be just like any other job and that he’ll ace it and then be on his way but this guys got a secret, he’s a vampire.

So now the hitman is in a weird situation and feels like the prey instead of being the one in charge. These vampires are a little different from the normal vamps and leave everyone around them a bloody mess of nothingness. These guys are no joke and go after anyone that Frank Ng knows or comes into contact with. They have the scent of hunting dogs.

So knowing that his hitman skills just won’t be all that will do the trick to extinguish these cold blooded killers with fangs, he gets the help of a Chinese man who knows all of the tricks of the trade on ancient Chinese lore. They slash thru many vampires on their way to kill the main one who is the deadliest of them all and might just take their lives from them.

God of Vampires have plenty of blood and gore along with many fighting scenes to amp you up for the finale of Frank and the God of Vampires himself. Can he finish this intense creature off without being killed or turned into a vamp himself? Or will Frank become a distant memory of a hitman the used to be the best around town?

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Skullheads

An eccentric family lives in a humongous beautiful castle where there are valuables and treasures nestled all over the place. Daughter Naomi is a weird one and this is because the poor girl isn’t allowed to do anything. If she is caught with trivial things like a cell phone or an ipod she is taken down to the dungeon and tortured for it.

One day the cook takes one of the sheep from their farm and cooks it up for dinner and Peter the older half brother takes it very badly and spends the whole dinner sobbing hysterically at the table until Naomi gives him a stuffed animal. The Dad Carver couldn’t wait to tell Peter that it was their sheep since he has a very mean streak running thru him.

Well the cooped up Naomi is estacic when three Hollywood people come to the door just about begging to use their castle for a movie. Carver just about tells them to screw off and that’s the end of it! Well Naomi who craves attention talks her mom into it and then all hell breaks loose. Dinner is crazy and then it turns out these movie producers aren’t there for a film shoot at all.

I guess these fools wish they would of known about the Skullheads that guard the castle and this freaky family. Of course these cool little guys are what make the movie, I really wish there was more scenes with them in it. It was funny how the one was peeking around the corner smoking a joint. Skullheads is your typical Charles Band movie so you won’t be disappointed

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Albino Farm

Albino Farm is another film about an urban legend with a bunch of freaky inbred misfits that love to grab a hold of the tourists and perhaps eat them for dinner. For a project, four college students are out in the Ozark Mountain town when they start to discuss this local legend. The town also has a century old group of religious fanatics.

Well It seems that the kids get kinda off the project and more into the town legend as they go along. Naturally curiosity gets at them and they decide they just have to go off and explore in those woods for the freaks themselves. If they were smart they would of stuck with just listening to all the horrible stories instead of trying to actually relive it.

Now creeping around they have to face some real life horrors of the most disturbing kind. Body parts are placed in spots and you have to wonder do they like to gnaw on them for a treat? Can these kids escape their terrible fate with maybe some minor cuts and bruises? Or will they end up being a part of some inbreds diet?

I think scariest thing in the whole movie was Bianca Barnett’s character pig bitch. Now she was some inbred looking animal with a pig face and a seemingly a strong sexual appetite. I wouldn’t want to bump into her ass anywhere! Yuk, I was amazed at how well she seemed to skeeve me out in the very short time she was on film.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Widow

Imagine the pain one would feel when their mate dies. Vivian is now one of those people since her husband Alex just passed. She sits around the house depressed and withdrawn for what seems to be all day and night. At the funeral for Alex you can tell she is a little bit off but why shouldn’t she be since the man she loved and married is gone.
Her sister Sherry shows up at the wake and tells her that she is there for her is she needs her.

Vivian seems to be a shy timid lady that always wanted to please her husband so she would do everything he said. Her sister Sherry is the complete opposite of her. She is outgoing, crass, sneaky, and easy. Sherry was more of a party girl who was out to have fun and she did what she wanted not what she was told.

Vivian starts having these strange dreams where Alex is trying to tell her something but she just doesn’t know what. She starts to think that all these dreams mean something and that maybe Alex’s death at the hotel wasn’t an accident. Sherry tells her she is obsessed and needs to get a damn grip on herself. Alex’s death was accidental and the dreams are just that, dreams.

Is Vivian losing it or is there something in the dreams that actually means something? Sherry and her start to bicker because Sherry doesn’t like Alex and thinks he was to demanding and controlling. Can they get it together to move on or will all hell break loose between them? Widow definitely has some tricks up it’s sleeves for you to say “damn, I didn’t even see that coming!"

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Consumption

A seemingly timid man gets dressed in front of the mirror which you think might be a date by the way he repeatedly practices his greeting over and over. The door bell rings and a pretty dark haired girl comes in and is visually nervous about whatever is about to happen. They met online and have the same interests in many important things.

George cooked her a great meal and pours her some wine and they sit at the dinner table making idle chat. Are they romantically involved? Are they about to be? Claudia says she needs to use his wash room and while she is in there she ends up on her cell phone with what sounds like a disgruntled ex boyfriend making sure he knows that it’s over and he’ll never see her again.

So she comes out and sits down telling George she is ready and he has her sign a waiver. He talks to her and is very happy that she is willingly participating. What would you do for the love of science? Would you shun it and all the things that you could possibly learn from it? Or would you be willing to take a chance and see what happens?

Consumption was deliciously gag worthy with gore that fills the screen with bright red blobs of blood. Science will take on a new twisted meaning for us all. As you watch you won’t know what to expect and you just can’t quite put your finger on it. You’ll just know that you are going to be in for a special yet truly disgusting treat

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Goatsucker

I know I am a lover of all things scary. Whether it be movies, hayrides or local urban legend or myths…I am loving it! I live in New Jersey and we have so much going on in the local urban legends category that they came out with a whole franchise for it titled Weird NJ.

Well I watched the movie Goatsucker recently and it was about a legend that started in medieval Europe and over time this creature was being spotted everywhere.Well since this legend was supposed to be around the area Mr. Walters figured “hey, I could make some serious cash on this” and decided to add a hiking tour titled the Goatsucker at his Hidden Valley Hiking Tours.

It ends up being a popular hike and people started flocking to get a chance to possibly see anything related to the Goatsucker. Thing is hikers started to go missing, large animals were being found mutilated and some hair that was tested and found to be of a unknown origin.

The last group for the day waits in a room for their tour guide named Margret. The driver comes and piles the people in the back of the truck for the 35 minute ride out to the trail. Their guide still doesn’t show up and is now considered missing.

Luckily for them a guide named Heidi just so happens to be up there on her day off and Mr. Walters forces her to take on them on the tour. Rhonda who is a totally ditzy blond gets changed into the proper attire and they’re off!

Alan is pissed because he came to the tour to get away from Rhonda who won’t get that she was just a fling for him and he doesn’t want her. Pam is an older lady that paws Alan hoping to get a piece of the boy toy while Eugene is just plain nerdy and weird.

Wayne the older man is constantly pulling a flask from his pocket and sneaking swigs. Soon the blood is flying and the Goatsucker is on the hunt. Could this thing be feeling too much at home in these woods? Maybe it even has a friend that protects it?

But how could a beast befriend anyone? Goatsucker was a little independent flick with lot’s of big twists. Even though you didn’t see much of the creature it was still effective enough for you to envision it as it ripped into it’s victims with glee

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Chris Jericho Interview

1. How did you get involved in the film Albino Farm?

My Son was actually doing some Halloween costume modeling on a morning show in Tampa and the traveling host that was with the costumes was Shawn McEwen who is the writer and director of Albino Farm and while all these kids were running around going nuts Shawn and I just started talking being the only adults in the room about our love for horror movies he kinda mentioned the script and I mentioned that I acted and he kinda knew who I was and it just started from there. He gave me the script and there was a part in there of a teenager who had all of these cool lines that I felt I could really do something with and that's when I kinda suggested that maybe he could make this character older and that's how he created Levi. He decided we could work with that and change one of the parts in the script because I felt like I could have some fun with it. I'm glad that he did it.

2. What was the most challenging thing on the shoot in Albino Farm?

Ah, It was a very weird character I really kind of just dropped into it so the most challenging thing was basically just to stay into character as much as possible because it was such a weird character and I just didn't really congregate to much with the cast, like embrace the film. I just hung out in the woods and I decided that Levi would smoke so I just kinda kept a cigarette in my hand at all times. I wanted to be able to stay in character and I wanted to be a a little aloof because I wanted people that I was working with to kinda not really know me to well because Levi is such a strange character and I wanted that to translate onto the screen and I think it kinda did.

3. What's your favorite horror movie and why?

I love the original Damn of the Dead just because of the whole concept of it. I love the original Halloween, The Omen. I think the Omen was probably the scariest to me since it felt like it could really happen you know? The Antichrist and all that sorta stuff, that will always creep me out. Even when I watched it again a few years ago and it's still very scary. Anything that has a religious confrontations just freaks me out- like exorcisms, like The Exorcist and movies like that. The slashers ones are ok, but the religious ones are a little bit easier to comprehend. Possessions and stuff like that really creeps me out.

4. With most films that WWE wrestlers appear in- for instance The Rock, Triple H, or Stone Cold they all seem to pull off one of their signature moves in the film at some point. Will Chris Jericho use the "Walls of Jericho" or any other moves in any upcoming films?

No I am not a wrestler who acts I am an actor who wrestles. I've always felt that way, When I first started wrestling in 1990 I was smaller then what was going on you know like 6'8 tall guys like that and I was a shorter guy you know at 5'11 so I always had to figure out how to make my mark and it was always I'm not the biggest person but I'll always play the biggest character and have the biggest charisma or the biggest personality. I play a character every week and that's how I treat the Chris Jericho character. So any character that I play that's not a wrestler or not Chris Jericho like with Levi, when you first see me on screen you might not even know that it was me. That's been the same for most of the characters I've done whether it was with Aaron Stone, whether it was in Z Rock or in Mac Gruber that's coming up this month it's always something a little bit different that what you expect from the normal Chris Jericho that I play and I like that because I am gonna stick acting under like being a stunt character. Like as Chris Jericho and he's doing a body slam because he's a a wrestler ha, ha, ha! It would be like Anthony Hopkins being in Legends of Fall and eating someones liver with a fine Chianti, That's one character you play and when you go to another character it's a whole new world you know?

5. Are you interested in doing more film?

Absolutely. I mean it's something I took two years away from wrestling a couple of years ago to study acting and the Stafford method and it really helps when I come back to wrestling to create the character I've been playing and I enjoy playing characters and I enjoy acting. Like I said I have been doing it for 19 years in one aspect or another and it's something I would like to continue doing beyond when my wrestling years are over.

6. What actors out there would you like to work with?

Brad Pitt, Steve Buscemi cause he's the type of guy I'd like to emulate. He just plays these eally weird strange characters. I'm a big fan of Tom Hanks he's a great actor. I love comedy too. I love Larry Davis he'd be fun to do some stuff with and movies that have the improv element would be alot of fun. I worked with The Growl industry here in LA and performed with them for a year so I have alot of improvbackground as well as anything that's challenging and fun to do.

7. What got you into wrestling?

I was just a big wrestling fan as a kid. I would sit and watch it with my grandmom in her basement. I was eight years old and kind of put my mind to that's what I wanted to do when I was a kid and geared my whole life to doing that.

8. How did you come up with the Y2J gimmick?

I came into WWE right in 1999 when the Y2K was supposed to take place and I just thought it was kind of an interesting play of words with me Jericho and the Y2K millennium man. I was going to change everything into WWE so it kinda started with that.

9. What pointers do you have for kids out there that want to be wrestlers?

Well I mean it's the same thing if you wanna be a physician, an actor or even a pharmacist you just gotta put your mind to it and just do the best you can and not listen to the people that tell you that you can't do it. If you can do something and you have the courage to actually do it then you just gotta put your mind to it and get it done.

10. My son Danny is sixteen now and is a huge WWE fan. He was bullied for years and that takes alot out of a kid. What advice do you give against bullying?

You just gotta fire back you know. Most boys are cowards and if you just lash out and punch the boy in the face it would end it pretty quickly because then the bully would move on to someone else who is weaker. I used to be bullied when I was a kid and as soon as I started fighting back and lashing out the boy moved on to somebody else. As hard as it might be, you know you might have to take a beating or two but afterwards the bully will move on to someone else who is less threatening.

11. You have a band called Fozzy. What exactly does that stand for?

It doesn't really stand for anything. When we first started out we were just playing cover songs, doing 80's metal cover songs and we were calling ourselves Fozzy Osbourne and then we started doing original so we dropped the Osbourne and stuck with Fozzy and kept going with that.

12. You've been on tour with the band. What band were you with that made you think "Wow I am on tour with..."?

We toured with Motorhead which was pretty cool getting the chance to do some stuff with them. We did some stuff with Black Sabbath which was amazing. Anytime you get with a band that's been around that long and at that level it's quite exciting and quite fun.

13. Who are some of your favorite bands that are out there old or new?

I love the Beatles, it's my favorite band. I'm a big Metallica fan, I love Iron Maiden, I love Dream Theater, Avenge Sevenfold, The Police, Rush. I have kind of a varied taste in music. Still to this day the Beatles are the band for me.

14. Are you going to keep making music?

Absolutely! Our new record comes out on January 26th and out first single is already up on youtube.com right now it's called Martyr No More.