The Tale of a Voodoo Prostitute

Label: Brain Damage Films 75 Minutes Directed by: Charles Richard Buchanan Released: June 5, 2012         The Tale of a Voodoo Prostitute has to be one of the most boring movies I have ever scene I just could not get myself fully into it at any time within the film. I hate writing mean reviews but I'm not going to lie and say I found it to be entertaining...not one bit for me! The whole story just didn't appeal to me.   Fleetwood Deville is a total manipulator,hustler, and he manages to screw over virtually everyone that crosses his path. I could not stand this particular character he rubbed me the wrong and seemed to over exaggerate his demeanor which just seemed to make him, well almost silly.     No one that works for him seems to last long- I guess if he doesn't like you or tires of you be prepared for a bullet in the head. The voodoo prostitute just seemed to be thrown in there for some extra creativity on their part but I actually would of enjoyed it more if that was cut....     I just don't want some poor boy working his ass off mowing the lawn in a hundred degree heat to walk in read the title, see prostitute and blow all that hard earned cash hoping for some seedy scenes. I would love to say this was a great flick, but to me it was just hokey and a waste of time...sorry guys!

Shades of a Killer

Label: Brain Damage Films 91 minutes Directed by: Kemal Yildirim Released March 6, 2012               With a tricky skill learned at an early age, Jaan is a hit man who is as quiet as a mouse and completely ruthless with his targets. He can slice and dice with the best of them but still manages to fall hard with his heart when it comes to women. Christ, I couldn't be with him I'd be afraid of pissing him off! Now all grown up he is in this elite assassin force and has to face his worse enemies in order to save the two people that mean the most to him in this world and not fighting for them is not an option. This man will fight to the death to get what he wants and had endured a very dark past that seems to haunt him at times in order to get here.. Shades of a Killer has to be about 80 percent action and 20 percent drama. If you are into the Martial Arts scene or just enjoy watching people skirt their way around fists and feet- you will enjoy this title to no end. Can Jaan manage to outsmart all of his pursuitors and obstacles? Check it out and tell me if you think he could actually do it....

Deadly Renovations

Released May 25th 2012

Directed by Robert H. Gwinn

 

 

 

 

The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol

Directed by: Aramis Sartorio 91 Minutes Release Date 3/27/2012 A total loser named Tommy Pistol is running about forty five minutes late to an audition so he speeds down the road like a maniac trying to get there. Well the director tells him to fuck off so he heads home to his girlfriend and their son. He comes in earlier an usual since he was fired from his job at the record store. So now his family has left him because he can not manage to get his priorities straight- they are all fucked up! Now his hot wife is gone so he gets naked on the couch with a penis pump, some porn and just goes at it.This guys such a loser he can't even stay awake to masturbate! So in his head he's walking down the street and comes to a whore named Daisy who is willing. Too bad for her the spider that bites her gives her a staph infection that goes wild and rampant. This part of the film is absolutely vomit worthy so you might need a bucket or trough for that matter. There are a few sequences in this dream stage but I'm not gonna ruin it for ya!

Operation: Nazi Zombies

Release Date: 2012 87 Minutes Directed by: David B. Stewart III       David B. Stewart III's Operation: Nazi Zombies actually sat on the shelf for about four years before it was picked up for distribution. After you view it, you can decide for yourself if you think it should of permanently stayed there! So here we have a group of Army Special Forces that head out to this secret biological weapons facility and things get a tad hectic!   They become infected by this Nazi experiment that was recreated by the Army Chemical Corps and the CIA after World War II. These poor boys are stuck with some hungry zombies and also the Government assassins from hell! Which one do you think you'd rather be stuck with let alone both? Talk about a living hell!     Imagine being thrown there to die with those flesh eating bastards...only the strong will survive the debauchery they were pushed in to. The zombies were cool looking and in the one scene it's cries were particularly disturbing as he repetitively did it. I have screened plenty of zombie movies, and this is one of the better ones.

 

 

Mourning Wood

Release Date: July 24th 2012 Directed by: Ryan Convery 79 Minutes In Ryan Convery's film Mourning Wood, the infomercial Guru Dr. Jacob Pendelton has invented products like Dick Killer condoms and his newest discovery is called Shampube. It promises to remove all that funk down below. Well it removes the grime but you turn into a sex crazed zombie who humps everything! Now you have to be able to handle this whole concept because the sperm in splashing all over in this one- I mean buckets full. Everyone that comes into contact with these vile perverted fucks end up white washed in spew! Did I laugh? At times I honestly did but a know a few women who would be all uptight with it and freak. I loved that alot of the actors play several different parts in the film, when you watch you'll see what I mean. To enjoy this film you need an open mind and a wild sense a humor. It's campy B movie hi jinks  will have you giggling or muttering "Ew, gross!" If you could dream up a different way to be infected by a zombie what would you choose?

Lost Woods

Directed by: Philip and Nathan Ellering Release Date: March 2, 2012 88 Minutes Darrin is just kicking back enjoying his day to day routine when there's a little break in the monotony as some friends come by to convince him to go with them camping. He is a tad hesitant since a boy named Nunez went missing up in those woods and hasn't been heard from since. After awhile you can tell that Darrin is really glad he went. His bud Rey is the rugged outdoors type while his sister Lucy is clearly smitten with Darrin. They chillax near the bonfire drinking beers with Warren and Goofball George. All of them enjoy the Nature trails and go cliff diving Two bullying rednecks with a rifle swipe Rey's trusty blade on their way back to the site and he vows revenge. But that might not be able to come into play because a deadly Sasquatch is now hunting them like prey while knocking them off one by one. The beast looks a tad goofy but that's OK because it's a cool storyline and you can totally imagine yourself being in their shoes. Will anyone in their close circle of friends survive to tell the tale? Or will they all end up just body parts scattered thru the woods? The answer to that is.... watch it!