Dirtbags: Evil Never Felt so Good was getting put on the shelves at the DVD store when the District Manager at FYE/Coconuts noticed it and took it back into his office to take a quick peek at it so he could get the jist of what it was about. When he was finished he hopped on the buyer and told him that if they didn't pull it from the shelves he was contacting the corporate office stat!
Even though the cover says appearance by Peter Steele don't expect a lot he's only present for a little bit. The humor is crude, racist and homophobic- yet you can't help but laugh every now and then no matter how corny it is. You can get an inside look at how men are and what they find funny. It's definitely out of your normal range for film watching that's for sure!
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Speed Dating
Release date- January 19, 2010
James Van Der Bexton is headed for the big 30 and since he lost his true love about two years ago and is having no luck with the women he tries speed dating. At first he keeps lying to all of the women he meets telling them he works for some elite company. It just seems like he isn't really putting his all into finding someone to get serious with.
Then James sees a beautiful girl in a bar who he finds out her name is Victoria and decides to watch her and learn what he can about her so he climbs up on the roof of the building next to hers and spys on her. Victoria spots him and he falls off the building and runs away only to get hit by a car. He ends up in the hospital with amnesia.
His nurse Susan decides to help him remember the bits and pieces of his life so he can be at peace, it's driving him crazy. So they look for clues at the speed dating place he was going to a lot before his accident. As he goes about meeting different women, he looks over and sees Susan enjoying herself with one of the men and it really hits him how much he is into her.
Will James ever get his memory back so he can figure out his past and future? He is participating in a sting operation and his ex shows up tickling his feelings for her back into motion. Will he pick her over Susan? Or will James lose both of them and be stuck hanging out at the bar by himself and hitting up those speed dating services?
James Van Der Bexton is headed for the big 30 and since he lost his true love about two years ago and is having no luck with the women he tries speed dating. At first he keeps lying to all of the women he meets telling them he works for some elite company. It just seems like he isn't really putting his all into finding someone to get serious with.
Then James sees a beautiful girl in a bar who he finds out her name is Victoria and decides to watch her and learn what he can about her so he climbs up on the roof of the building next to hers and spys on her. Victoria spots him and he falls off the building and runs away only to get hit by a car. He ends up in the hospital with amnesia.
His nurse Susan decides to help him remember the bits and pieces of his life so he can be at peace, it's driving him crazy. So they look for clues at the speed dating place he was going to a lot before his accident. As he goes about meeting different women, he looks over and sees Susan enjoying herself with one of the men and it really hits him how much he is into her.
Will James ever get his memory back so he can figure out his past and future? He is participating in a sting operation and his ex shows up tickling his feelings for her back into motion. Will he pick her over Susan? Or will James lose both of them and be stuck hanging out at the bar by himself and hitting up those speed dating services?
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Hooking Up
Release Date- December 8, 2009
How can you not love a movie that's opening line is "Would you ever taste your own cum?" That's just classic. This movie was funny and had a bunch of quirky addicting characters. April was this teenager who loved to give head and does so to three guys one right after the other at a party. It makes you remember all those crazy experimental days back in the day.
These teens are sex crazy and I know your thinking, what kid isn't but damn they did way the hell more than I even had knowledge of at that age. Corey Feldman stars as Ryan the older guy who dates Caroline who unfortunately is in love with him. He is just using her for sex and amusement for his friends. He will be breaking her heart in no time.
Dickhead Ryan reminded me of my first serious boyfriend...yuck! No one wants to remember their first relationship where they were all naive thinking they were in love and they would be with that person
forever. This movie is like a twentieth century Fast Times at Ridgemont High with way more sex and double the shenanigans.
Can't anyone in this movie keep their pants on? If you are in your teens you might learn a thing or two about what it's like to go thru that sexual peak and survive! Hooking Up is a trip you definitely wanna take if you get the chance, it's something you won't forget for a long time and I guarantee you'll either try convince your friends to watch it or you'll being telling someone about something you saw in it!
How can you not love a movie that's opening line is "Would you ever taste your own cum?" That's just classic. This movie was funny and had a bunch of quirky addicting characters. April was this teenager who loved to give head and does so to three guys one right after the other at a party. It makes you remember all those crazy experimental days back in the day.
These teens are sex crazy and I know your thinking, what kid isn't but damn they did way the hell more than I even had knowledge of at that age. Corey Feldman stars as Ryan the older guy who dates Caroline who unfortunately is in love with him. He is just using her for sex and amusement for his friends. He will be breaking her heart in no time.
Dickhead Ryan reminded me of my first serious boyfriend...yuck! No one wants to remember their first relationship where they were all naive thinking they were in love and they would be with that person
forever. This movie is like a twentieth century Fast Times at Ridgemont High with way more sex and double the shenanigans.
Can't anyone in this movie keep their pants on? If you are in your teens you might learn a thing or two about what it's like to go thru that sexual peak and survive! Hooking Up is a trip you definitely wanna take if you get the chance, it's something you won't forget for a long time and I guarantee you'll either try convince your friends to watch it or you'll being telling someone about something you saw in it!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Mr. Art Critic
Release date- October 13, 2009
A well known high profile art critic named M.J. Clayton is a true bastard when it comes to writing down his exact thoughts of other peoples creations. He's a total snob who for some reason thinks he is the only eye out there that really knows what is superb and what is crap. It's really rare that he sees something he will deem worthy of praise.
After awhile even his boss becomes disgusted at they way he just downs these poor artists pieces, I mean the man is just too full of himself. He is sent for some time off so he heads to his house on the lake. One night while walking around he bumps into an artist who he said had no talent and after a few words they end up at the bar completely smashed!
The scorned artist named Frank drunkenly dares good old Mr. Clayton that he should enter the art contest since he is so sure that any idiot could do a good piece. So forced to enter he tries to come up with something, anything that will allow him to take first place. Is he even capable of completing a painting or anything else artistic for that matter?
Then he meets Lisa who is a gifted artist who he tries to buy a painting from her to enter it into the competition. She tells him he can buy it at a staggering price so he does. In the end he is outed for not being the one to have done the painting and is humiliated. He loses his job so now what will he do with himself? Maybe he should take art classes!
A well known high profile art critic named M.J. Clayton is a true bastard when it comes to writing down his exact thoughts of other peoples creations. He's a total snob who for some reason thinks he is the only eye out there that really knows what is superb and what is crap. It's really rare that he sees something he will deem worthy of praise.
After awhile even his boss becomes disgusted at they way he just downs these poor artists pieces, I mean the man is just too full of himself. He is sent for some time off so he heads to his house on the lake. One night while walking around he bumps into an artist who he said had no talent and after a few words they end up at the bar completely smashed!
The scorned artist named Frank drunkenly dares good old Mr. Clayton that he should enter the art contest since he is so sure that any idiot could do a good piece. So forced to enter he tries to come up with something, anything that will allow him to take first place. Is he even capable of completing a painting or anything else artistic for that matter?
Then he meets Lisa who is a gifted artist who he tries to buy a painting from her to enter it into the competition. She tells him he can buy it at a staggering price so he does. In the end he is outed for not being the one to have done the painting and is humiliated. He loses his job so now what will he do with himself? Maybe he should take art classes!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
ThanksKilling
It's that time of year where fall is almost over and those grouchy relatives wanna come to your house and eat up all your food and you gotta put on the forced smile and pretend you even enjoy being in their company...yup Thanksgiving. Well if you've enough of that shit just call in the killer turkey from the film ThanksKilling. This film is destined to become a horror cult classic!
Let me get this out first so you understand what exactly what you are getting yourself into. This movie is stupid as hell so you need a sense of humor to enjoy it and that's exactly what I did. It was a boring Friday night so I popped it in and the next thing you know my sides were hurting from the comical situations this damn killer turkey was in.
My favorite part was when the turkey went to Kirsten's house looking for her and her Dad answers the door dressed up as a turkey for his annual costume party. They sit there at the dinner table sipping coffee while chatting and the turkey has on these black eyeglasses, it was just hysterical to me. Finally the turkey has had it and adds daddy to the victims list.
I don't want to give to much away but this little bugger takes a Que from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre in one scene and then maybe the Toxic Avenger in another. You just have to see it to believe it. The gang needs to find the turkey in his tee-pee and spout out a spell while finally burning the turkey at the stake. Can they kill this turkey that seems completely unstoppable?
Let me get this out first so you understand what exactly what you are getting yourself into. This movie is stupid as hell so you need a sense of humor to enjoy it and that's exactly what I did. It was a boring Friday night so I popped it in and the next thing you know my sides were hurting from the comical situations this damn killer turkey was in.
My favorite part was when the turkey went to Kirsten's house looking for her and her Dad answers the door dressed up as a turkey for his annual costume party. They sit there at the dinner table sipping coffee while chatting and the turkey has on these black eyeglasses, it was just hysterical to me. Finally the turkey has had it and adds daddy to the victims list.
I don't want to give to much away but this little bugger takes a Que from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre in one scene and then maybe the Toxic Avenger in another. You just have to see it to believe it. The gang needs to find the turkey in his tee-pee and spout out a spell while finally burning the turkey at the stake. Can they kill this turkey that seems completely unstoppable?
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Evil Bong II: King Bong
King Bong is the follow up to Evil Bong starring Tommy Chong. The first film had a few special guests like The Gingerdead Man, Bill Mosely, and my personal favorite Ooga Booga from Doll Graveyard. If your curious or if you haven’t seen Evil Bong you can find my review here:http://thisissomescene.com/?p=368
Charles Band is well known for his killer movies with kooky characters. Whether it be the dolls in the Puppetmaster series or Eebee the vintage powerful bong herself from Evil Bong. King Bong even has a quick intro so you get a quick feel of the first film, you know a little explanation on how it all began. Our trio of dedicated pot smokers are back Larnell, Brett, and of course Bachman… oh monkey! They are all still puffin away but only know each of them has a little problem.
It seems that ever since they smoked from that evil bong Eebee they all are having weird exaggerated side effects. Bachman keeps passing out cold and then not remembering that he did, Brett has the severe munchies and can’t stop stuffing food into his now mammoth mouth and Larnell has a weird sex drive where he’ll hump anything from people’s legs to chair arms. After getting Allistar to come over they devise a plan to figure out this whole mess.
Rabbit the delivery guy shows up and they now know they have to head to the Amazon where the bong originated. They meet Velicity and Larnell’s mean old grandpa there. Legend has it that the Poontang clan follow orders from the baddest of them all, King Bong. Now they all need to take a toke off of King Bong and travel inside his trip to destroy him. King Bong is also Eebee’s ex and she is pissed at all the bare breasted Poontang girls he now has worshipping him.
Will these stoners be able to handle King Bong’s plan for them all? Will they be seduced by the Poontang clan? Or will they head in there and get the job done? Will Brett remain a fat ass forever while Larnell will be stuck grinding on anything that he can straddle? You’ll all have to delve into your stoner mindset and find out for yourselves! King Bong has it’s laugh out loud moments as well as it’s so corny you can’t help but smile!
Charles Band is well known for his killer movies with kooky characters. Whether it be the dolls in the Puppetmaster series or Eebee the vintage powerful bong herself from Evil Bong. King Bong even has a quick intro so you get a quick feel of the first film, you know a little explanation on how it all began. Our trio of dedicated pot smokers are back Larnell, Brett, and of course Bachman… oh monkey! They are all still puffin away but only know each of them has a little problem.
It seems that ever since they smoked from that evil bong Eebee they all are having weird exaggerated side effects. Bachman keeps passing out cold and then not remembering that he did, Brett has the severe munchies and can’t stop stuffing food into his now mammoth mouth and Larnell has a weird sex drive where he’ll hump anything from people’s legs to chair arms. After getting Allistar to come over they devise a plan to figure out this whole mess.
Rabbit the delivery guy shows up and they now know they have to head to the Amazon where the bong originated. They meet Velicity and Larnell’s mean old grandpa there. Legend has it that the Poontang clan follow orders from the baddest of them all, King Bong. Now they all need to take a toke off of King Bong and travel inside his trip to destroy him. King Bong is also Eebee’s ex and she is pissed at all the bare breasted Poontang girls he now has worshipping him.
Will these stoners be able to handle King Bong’s plan for them all? Will they be seduced by the Poontang clan? Or will they head in there and get the job done? Will Brett remain a fat ass forever while Larnell will be stuck grinding on anything that he can straddle? You’ll all have to delve into your stoner mindset and find out for yourselves! King Bong has it’s laugh out loud moments as well as it’s so corny you can’t help but smile!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
RetarDEAD- out on DVD June 2nd!
RetarDEAD is the follow up to the cult classic movie Monsturd from 4321 films. I didn’t have the pleasure of viewing that one but now I am definitely interested. Here at Butte County Institute of Special Education things are about to get shook up a little bit and everyday routine will be a thing of the past. When you see these sorry excuses for people you just think to yourself, “I know your mommy always told you that you were special but she lied!”
Evil Doctor Stern who created the poop man from the last film is now working on another demented side project that involves injecting the Special Ed students with Algernon 9, it’s a project that will make these feeble minded beings into a freakin genius or hyper intelligent. The only problem is there are some serious side effects like brain swelling, cardiac arrest, tumors, cannibilism- they become zombies!
So now Butte County has the locked up zombies escape and people are becoming infected everywhere and the police are trying to stop the madness. To make matters even worse there is a pervert on the loose you know a real weenie wager who they are calling the masturbator since that is exactly what he is doing while spying on people. Can they catch this perp and stop the zombies as well?
RetarDEAD is not a serious movie at all, you will not be scared by it but you might bust your gut laughing at it! Heidi Martinuzzi from www.pretty-scary.net makes as cameo as the cowgirl zombie while my boss at www.thechainsawmafia.com Shannon Lark is a living dead girl. It was fun to sit and watch this and see the girls and the movie will certainly become another classic in the horror community!
3 outta 5 slashes!
Evil Doctor Stern who created the poop man from the last film is now working on another demented side project that involves injecting the Special Ed students with Algernon 9, it’s a project that will make these feeble minded beings into a freakin genius or hyper intelligent. The only problem is there are some serious side effects like brain swelling, cardiac arrest, tumors, cannibilism- they become zombies!
So now Butte County has the locked up zombies escape and people are becoming infected everywhere and the police are trying to stop the madness. To make matters even worse there is a pervert on the loose you know a real weenie wager who they are calling the masturbator since that is exactly what he is doing while spying on people. Can they catch this perp and stop the zombies as well?
RetarDEAD is not a serious movie at all, you will not be scared by it but you might bust your gut laughing at it! Heidi Martinuzzi from www.pretty-scary.net makes as cameo as the cowgirl zombie while my boss at www.thechainsawmafia.com Shannon Lark is a living dead girl. It was fun to sit and watch this and see the girls and the movie will certainly become another classic in the horror community!
3 outta 5 slashes!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Kicking the Dog
Ahhh, to be young again! When beer pong, playing asshole, and trying to get laid were the main priorties in life. You can relive all of these joys just by watching Kicking the Dog. I wasn’t expecting to like this, comedies just aren’t my thing. I had so much fun watching it while remembering my own memories of downing beers and trying to grow up even though it seemed impossible!
Here we have a click of good friends who love to drink beer and try to get laid. Satchum is the guy who seems to lead the pack in discussing old overwhelming embarrassing sexcapades and his girlfriend Julie is just getting sick and tired of hearing them. They are funny to hear but if you were her I think you’d feel the same. His friend Matt is a total pig that will say what needs to be said to get in a girls pants.
Satchum’s other friend Josh is a goofy guy who loves foot jobs and working 8 hours a day at a Porn shop. It is his dream job and loves the fact that he gets 5 free rentals a week and a 25% discount on toys. He spends his time fantasizing about the hot chicks in the videos while trying to get some in real life. You will really get an inside look at what guys really are thinking about girls at this age.
Some girls are really naive at this age and think that if they give up their goods they will get love. What they need to understand is all they are going to get is a reputation of being easy. Also you see that at this age guys are only thinking with one head and that is the one between their legs! Kicking the Dog is a hysterical look at the days in the life of a horny teenager!
Here we have a click of good friends who love to drink beer and try to get laid. Satchum is the guy who seems to lead the pack in discussing old overwhelming embarrassing sexcapades and his girlfriend Julie is just getting sick and tired of hearing them. They are funny to hear but if you were her I think you’d feel the same. His friend Matt is a total pig that will say what needs to be said to get in a girls pants.
Satchum’s other friend Josh is a goofy guy who loves foot jobs and working 8 hours a day at a Porn shop. It is his dream job and loves the fact that he gets 5 free rentals a week and a 25% discount on toys. He spends his time fantasizing about the hot chicks in the videos while trying to get some in real life. You will really get an inside look at what guys really are thinking about girls at this age.
Some girls are really naive at this age and think that if they give up their goods they will get love. What they need to understand is all they are going to get is a reputation of being easy. Also you see that at this age guys are only thinking with one head and that is the one between their legs! Kicking the Dog is a hysterical look at the days in the life of a horny teenager!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Red Victoria (2009)
88 Minutes
Release date 2/10/09
Jim is having a hell of a time trying to sell his screenplays. So his agent calls him up and forces him against his wishes to write a horror script. After seriously struggling for ideas he invites his friend Carl over to help him out. Carl is a die hard horror fan who is trying to give him some tips but has no experience or desire to write. So after seriously struggling for ideas his undead muse Victoria shows up.
Victoria reminded me of a goth Shelly Long from Cheers only she was dead. She refuses to leave until he gets crackin on that horror script. Jim can’t handle Victoria’s ways of working since she is killing off his family and friends as examples. Slowly Jim and Victoria start to grow on each other, well slightly anyway. Sometime’s Victoria is seen as how she looked before she died and at others you see now as a member of the undead. When Victoria first shows up it’s totally gooey and gory.
Jim is tired and goes to his bedroom to lay down, only there is the outline of a body underneath the comforter. When he quickly pulls it back he sees the dead rotting corpse of his muse. She stands up and her insides fall out, it was freakin awesome! Parts of it also had me busting out laughing and I thought this was a great combo of horror and comedy, it balanced out well. Red
Victoria was wickedly funny and had me sitting full tilt to find out what was going to occur next! Jim’s dead editor/ muse has many tricks up her twisted sleeve to entertain you with. When the movie starts Jim just doesn’t find anything to be scary enough to startle him, even his friend hiding and busting out of closets. In the end will Jim finally know what it’s like to be scared?
I give this movie 5 Slashes!
http://www.redvictoriathemovie.com
Release date 2/10/09
Jim is having a hell of a time trying to sell his screenplays. So his agent calls him up and forces him against his wishes to write a horror script. After seriously struggling for ideas he invites his friend Carl over to help him out. Carl is a die hard horror fan who is trying to give him some tips but has no experience or desire to write. So after seriously struggling for ideas his undead muse Victoria shows up.
Victoria reminded me of a goth Shelly Long from Cheers only she was dead. She refuses to leave until he gets crackin on that horror script. Jim can’t handle Victoria’s ways of working since she is killing off his family and friends as examples. Slowly Jim and Victoria start to grow on each other, well slightly anyway. Sometime’s Victoria is seen as how she looked before she died and at others you see now as a member of the undead. When Victoria first shows up it’s totally gooey and gory.
Jim is tired and goes to his bedroom to lay down, only there is the outline of a body underneath the comforter. When he quickly pulls it back he sees the dead rotting corpse of his muse. She stands up and her insides fall out, it was freakin awesome! Parts of it also had me busting out laughing and I thought this was a great combo of horror and comedy, it balanced out well. Red
Victoria was wickedly funny and had me sitting full tilt to find out what was going to occur next! Jim’s dead editor/ muse has many tricks up her twisted sleeve to entertain you with. When the movie starts Jim just doesn’t find anything to be scary enough to startle him, even his friend hiding and busting out of closets. In the end will Jim finally know what it’s like to be scared?
I give this movie 5 Slashes!
http://www.redvictoriathemovie.com
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