Blood Wars

90 MinutesDirected by: Tom Shell

Tony Todd plays Julien, the leader a vampire in a coven that has been around for decades. The coven has an ongoing fight with the Centrys that roam amongst the earth with a vengeance for vampire blood, they wish they could exterminate them completely- it just is not as easy as you would think it would be. Julien is ready to hand over the throne to who is deemed worthy.

Will, a hippie who usually keeps his head down and his mouth shut somehow manages to overcome his shyness and puts the moves on Goth Ashley’s friend Jayne. Will’s roomie Rico is kinda crushing on Ashley’s ass but she is going thru a rough break up with dickhead Darren who lives to bully anyone he can get his hands on. Darren has a little secret of his own and don’t get him mad enough to use it.

Will and Jayne are alone and attacked by Darren who plans on raping her and killing him. Things get out of control and instead Darren is the one who ends up depleted. Somehow Will is changing and he can’t figure out the cause. When reality sinks in can Will accept his fate or will he fight it tooth and nail to the end? See what side of the fence he lands on in this vampire comedy.

3 outta 5 Slashes

Attack of the Giant Leeches

This movie was so stupid and ridiculas yet I loved it! Attack of the Giant Leeches should of been shown up on the big screen at the drive in while kids snuggled in their pajama's in the backseat of the car shoving popcorn down their throats. As they lie there with the fat dog blues they look up there and see these leeches that almost looked like a black wrinkled inner tube tires as they wiggled around looking for it's next meal making juicy slurping sounds.

I read a review prior to viewing it and they said it looked like giant dicks crawling around. Well I don't know who in the hell has a dick that looks like that. No resemblance what so ever. Now everything is cheesy from the acting to the special effects. But that's what makes it so damn lovable. If a group of your friends got together and had few drinks you would be all loving Attack of the Giant Leeches corniness.

Gracie the smart mouth borderline feminist's father is Professor Everett who knows a thing or two when it comes to science. So when people start turning up dead at the swamp with red hickey like marks all over the place and no blood left in their bodies he is determined to figure it all out. Scott the one who know is the care taker of this lovely marsh is trying his hardest to get on Gracie's good side and in her pants.

After the gang figures it out and they now know they are dealing with giant leeches they set to a plan that just might work at getting rid of those suckers with out hurting any of the wetland creatures. So when the Professor rigs up a stick of dynamite made from a certain formula that will do just what they need. It's hysterical as they sit in the canoe trying to look serious as they rocked the boat themselves. I know this movie will cheer up your dull day.

3 outta 5 slashes!