Beware The Movie

Release Date: October 18, 2011
Directed by: Jason Daly
96 Minutes
Horror

The small town of Shady Grove has a chilling tale connected within itself of a young boy who was
chained to a tree deep in the woods and left to die. He did whatever he needed in order to stay alive
and became a monster from no civilization. Some believe he is just a made up myth or some sort
of mysterious Urban Legend- no one has any real proof he even exists. 

Three friends venture out there for a night of drinking and acting up. This night will change all
of their lives forever. Now Shane is free but still carries the chains that are embedded in his wrists
and he is ready to fuck some shit up. It's years later and a group of five are stuck for the night in
good old Shady Grove but thankfully are invited by Maria to stay at her place. 

  
They drink and enjoy themselves out by the fire until Cristina asks about the legend and for some reason it hits a nerve with Maria. She abruptly jumps up and runs inside. Night of fun is over but the  
blood is about to run rampant. Shane might end up leaving a mark in the slasher family with his
ominous appearance and clanking chains, guess we'll have to wait and see...






https://www.facebook.com/bewarethemovie?fref=ts&ref=br_tf

Provoked

Release Date: October 5, 2013
Directed by: Jordan Pacheco
Minutes
Horror

David Langill's Provoked follows a team of novice paranormal investigators as they search
for proof that peoples homes are indeed haunted. After countless hours of researching
places and getting no evidence what so ever they finally hit the jackpot with a case that
claims of violent encounters.

The first night at the house is disappointing with no occurrences to spark them on with hope.
Well while there, Matt provokes the spirit by insulting and calling it out. Bad choice there
big guy, now you have attracted it's attention and it has now invaded your home. Children, or
adults even should never play with dead things.     

Tony Moran, whom we all know as the iconic actor from John Carpenter's Halloween as
the silent yet extremely intimidating Michael Myers plays Doug the plumber. He comes by to check
out the pipes since the spickets turn on themselves and flood onto the floors. Next thing you know
Matt's girlfriend Jamie is being whipped around the house by an invisible force.  

Jamie is done with him as the ghost hunter and finally leaves to go to her mothers with Paul.
The spirits torment him and give him the interaction he craves so deeply. He screams for them to leave his home while spouting some scripture...think it'll work? Or do you think these evil entity's
with play with him to death like a cat would a mouse?

Caesar and Otto's Deadly Xmas

Release Date: June 30, 2012
Directed by: Dave Campfield
83 Minutes
Horror/ Comedy



Here is the much anticipated sequel to Caesar and Otto's Summer Camp Massacre. Almost all
of the key characters are back for more with some added bonuses!  

Deck the Halls, Caesar and Otto are back and this time it's the holidays with a crazy killer
Santa on the loose. Caesar has a tremendous fear of Santa ever since hearing as a little boy from
dear old granddad that old fat boy shows up at your house on Christmas and cuts your penis off
with a big noisy chainsaw.



Caesar is broke as a joke, so after a failed Thanksgiving dinner he goes in to fill out an application
for a job Donna Blackstone (Linnea Quigley) called him about. The problem is he would have to dress up like Santa Claus for all the good little boys and girls. The man almost has a damn nervous break down at just the thought of putting on that suit. 

CKY's Deron Miller stars as the killer Santa walking around in his bloodstained suit crossing people
of his naughty list...permantely! I am so jealous that he got to murder one of the biggest Scream
Queens of all times Linnea Quigley! In the style from her murder scene in Silently Night, Deadly
Night no less...lucky bastard!    

I can't help but think of Caesar and Otto like a sort of modern day Scooby and shaggy- only Shaggy has a pissy attitude and would make me really laugh when he threw a fit and started swinging. The scene with them wrestling behing the bed with Otto was comical as hell. Caesar and Otto's Deadly Xmas is stocking stuffed with corny Christmas goodness that you may end up wanting to add to your tradition list.  

The film also STARS my favorite top 3 Scream Queens in My Book
Linnea Quigly
Brinke Stevens
Debbie Rochon



https://www.facebook.com/deadlyxmas
http://www.caesarandotto.com/

Mold

Release Date: May 21, 2013
Directed by: Neil Meschino
86 Minutes
Horror

Dr. Petterson along with Government funding develops a new ecological warfare weapon called stackamort that is basically a type of killer mold. The disease is airborne but needs moisture in order to activate it's chemicals that will kill you. At the current moment they are working on an anti fungal to reverse the reaction if need be for whatever reason. 

The congressman comes along with the military to check out the products worth and ends up with it on his hands. After he snorts coke in the bathroom he washes his hands and spores take over his
body eating him up and causing him to spew green moldy vomit all over- I could of went without that
part since puke makes me squeamish.

They find out that Carter set them all up for failure with the experiment. He called in all the people involved so that they can be locked securely within the building and destroyed. There can't
be any loose ties lying around to leak out any information. If anyone dares exit the place, it's
surrounded by snipers just waiting to shoot them.   

The Colonel lights up his big fat cigar and is quickly told to distinguish it so the sprinkler system doesn't turn on and multiply the mold. Well they end up on anyway and what you get is a gooey
gory mess. Blood, slime, puke, mold splattered faces and even an exploding stomach that rains it's insides down on all of them. I did giggle a few times.

 

 

 

 

 

Murder University

Release Date: August 1, 2012 
Directed by: Richard griffin
96 Minutes
Horror

Back in 1983 a series of murders took place at Greenwald college in New England now it
is twenty years later and the slayings have returned. Josh Greene is a freshman and
poor guy can't seem to catch a break. He is constantly being bullied, embarrassed, or
just beat down by jealous a boyfriend.

The Greensboro Devil is back and he's out to slash the shit out of everything he can get
his hands on- with a little help from some cloaked and masked friends. So studying hard
is not he only thing this guys got to focus on, staying alive is coming up close on him
since these satanic men knew his late father- and we're not sure if this is good or bad.

Detective Forrester is the one who has never let this case go and he's on the war path trying
to stop them before another body drops. He enlists Josh and even his own daughter Meg to help
sleuth around for clues to identify these killers. Can these two manage to get away in one piece
or will the Greensboro Devil claim them as his own?

Murder University could well become a cheesy B type classic with it's perfect synthesized 80's type
slasher music and corny kills. Who doesn't love the fakeness of the squirting blood or the hokey possible development of a budding relationship between two characters? I can almost see Rhonda Shears or Gilbert Godfrey introducing this as a weekend flick on "Up all Night."     




https://www.facebook.com/pages/Murder-University/216457875076489

Exhumed

Release date: November 2011
Directed by: Richard Griffin
86 Minutes
Horror
Black and white
Wild Eye Releasing

Richard Griffin's Exhumed is a quirky masterpiece that will leave you wanting more of it's insane
characters and abnormal storyline. I am a huge fan of Debbie Rochon and she is absolutely superb
as the wacky Governess who seems to have a touch of OCD dwelling in her. I am not just being partial to her as a fan she is totally convincing and creepy as hell.

A group of misfits reside together in a boarding house trying to survive while others are trying to reduce the head count in the place drastically. Laura is like a little girl trapped in a woman's body
with wants and needs while Lance is a straight up skanky pervert. My favorite had to be the smart
ass butler. My kind of guy!

Parts of the film reminded me of David Schmoeller's 1979 horror classic Tourist Trap. From it's
creepy mannequins set up in the butlers room whom he hangs out with at night to the chillingly
creepy opening theme song. That movie scared the death out of me as a kid and still freaks me out
till this day when I watch it. 

I loved this film, and would recommend it to anyone who wants a taste of different with the added bonus of some seriously messed up individuals that you can't help but fall in love with. I was kinda
bummed when it was over because I'll truly miss the fucked up antics of each and everyone of them-
maybe that's showing how weird I really am?






https://www.facebook.com/ExhumedTheMovie

Showgirls 2: Penny's from Heaven

Release Date: September 17, 2013
Directed by: Rene Riffel 
145 Minutes
Comedy/Drama/Thriller

It's Sin city and stripper, Penny Slot daily watches a well televised dance show and dreams of being their featured star dancer. Problem is she can't dance. She can only twirl the  pole and give seedy lap dances at the clubs. If I had to hear her say "I'm not a whore, I'm a dancer" one more time I think I would of screamed.

Things that were meant to be funny just weren't, Rene's horrible acting puts the film at risk from
the get go- she just does not deliver. The dumb blond act isn't even convincing- she just tries to hard. You can tell they paid a pretty penny with filming- that's about the only thing impressive for this first time director. 

Your banging everyone and their brother while getting paid, what does that make you a Princess? I did like Shelley Michelle's character Katya with her nutty antics and bipolar personality- plus she was super hot. Her throwing a fit with the make up remover on the mirror was pretty convincing. I'm sorry but having nice tits and a hot body doesn't necessarily mean the film is going to succeed.

It might how ever possibly among the few teenage boys out there that actually earn a paycheck but that's about it. The sales in socks and Vaseline intensive care might rise some but the praise for this film likely will not. It would of had some potential if the lead was played by someone else. Worst two hours of my life I have spent in a long time.