The Return of Joe Rich

Release Date 8/13/2013
Directed by: Sam Auster
90 Minutes

The Return of Joe Rich from Director Sam Auster has to be one of the best flicks I have reviewed this year thus far! It's got a softy named Joe Neiderman who returns home to Chicago after his job and wife bails out on him. He decides he is ready to earn some real cash and has plans of asking his hard ass Uncle Dom for a job with him thru The Outfit- the mob with a new name.


Now Uncle Dom who is played by Armand Assante is by far my favorite character in the film- the man plays the sick, relentless cutthroat type of guy with ease. He is a crazy fuck who just made the story that much better. I don't know why but when I watch those Mob movies and they flip shit, it makes me laugh- like Sonny in The Godfather beating his sister's husband with the trashcan.
    

Now Joe decides since he is in, he should act and dress the part and watching him dance around with excitement while trying to learn a hard demeanor is comical as hell. So Uncle Dom caves and gives him a simple task to do for him and the results are hilarious and almost embarrassing. It ends up his friend has double the balls of him.


They drug uncle Dom and chain him up in the cooler room- which reminded me of Reservoir Dogs where the cop lost his ear- trying to break him down to agree to their plan. A unique part of the flick is that there is actual documentary footage of 10 real Chicago Mob Guys ages 73 to 89 that tell you some of the real experiences they had from their pasts. Great and fun film- pick it up!

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Return-of-Joe-Rich/174088142618508

Cloned: The Recreator Chronicles

Release Date: April 23, 2013
Directed by: Gregory Orr
90 Minutes

Craig, Tracy and Derek head out to the Adirondack mountains for a camping trip to hang
out and have some much needed fun. Derek is leaving soon to go into the service and they
just want to enjoy their moments together. Tracy wanders aimlessly thru the woods looking
for a place to go to the bathroom and stumbles upon a this huge amazing house.


Now for some stupid reason she just thinks "hey let me go inside", most normal people wouldn't pull that shit. She heads back tells the others and they all crash in there while a nasty storm rages. They wake up to the owners busting their asses and soon the whole Invasion of the Body Snatchers theme kicks in and the clones come out.  

           

An exact replica of each of them comes along who are smarter, stronger, and plan on
burying the originals in the backyard. They could have their memories, experiences,
and knowledge but thankfully couldn't read their minds. Each set are plotting on how to
get rid of the other group.     


Cloned: The Recreator Chronicles is not a bad watch but it felt really drawn out at times
but I'll admit I am a person who loses interest or becomes bored easily. It's hard to keep up in
the film industry especially in todays world when just about everything already has been done.
However, if you wanna know who wins you'll have to watch it yourself- I'll never tell!     

https://www.facebook.com/ClonesTheRecreatorChronicles

Assassin's Tale

Release Date: July 29, 2013
Directed by: Arthur Louis Fuller
92 Minutes

Director Arthur Louis Fuller scored a winner with his film Assassin's Tale- it will keep you enthralled
as well as giving a few laughs. Quick wit and quirky characters outline the film and he adds that personal touch that allows you to feel for the outcome of some of their fates. It focuses on three of the main assassins Grace, Anthony an Roman.

Each one struggles with some major issues in their private lives like drug addiction, wanting a normal life, or falling in love. Anthony is a complete mess and struggles daily in life with his addiction but has no interest in changing a thing. He figures this is the path he choose and he's going to stay on it up until the very end.

Grace is a ruthless bitch who you do not want to mess with, she'll beat on you and then kill your ass
with no regrets or questions asked. Grace's demon is she is tired of killing people and just wants to
settle down with the man she loves to have the whole white picket fence and popping out plenty of babies fantasy. Could she really life such a life?



Then there's Roman and Woody who just happen to me favorite two characters in the film with Grace following close behind. Roman is a smooth mofo who has a heart of gold and is a loyal man but the other half of him is a cold blooded murderer debating on getting out of the killing biz. Woody organizes it all he's the man to help you make that cash. Will anyone here get what they want?     
  










     

Ferocious

Release date: 10-1-2013
Directed by: Robert Cuffley
93 Minutes

Ah stars, they always need to have the perfectly crafted image to appeal to the masses or else
the jobs dwindle to nothing and no one wants to represent them. Leigh Parrish comes from a
small town and is the new sweetheart of TV with a squeaky clean image and a charismatic personality that just draws people in.  


Leigh travels back to wow her home state and generate more good publicity, but the thing is she has
a few secrets she doesn't want to come to light because if they did her career will more than likely
wind up snatched out from underneath her before she can even spell out cow. Her manager Callum Beck is all about making that cash and has big plans for her. 

   
So one night Leigh decides to take matters in to her own hands and goes to a club with the intention
of settling an old score. Sliding in unnoticed she heads upstairs for the confrontation that has been
4 years in the making. Things don't go quite as planned and things end up a little messy when a girl
Tess saves the day.


Tess is like an obsessed fan that knows everything about her, well she thinks she does anyway. Reasons for Leigh's paranoia are given and you understand her concern. Still how far would you go to keep your past away from the world?  Black mail?  Murder? Or would you say screw it and
just let it ride?

Fatal Call

Release Date: November 11, 2012
Directed by: Jack Synder
93 Minutes

Mitch moves from his small little town into the big city to get away from his sudden claustrophobic, trapped feelings. One night while out at the bar with his friend and colleague he meets the magnetic, seductive Amy who reels him in hook, line and sinker. A torrid love affair starts and feelings are building and promises are being spoken- are they genuine?

After a lazy night of love making a vicious loud knock on the door quickly flings them out of their reverie as an angry man screams for Amy to get her ass home. Mitch jumps up and demands to know what the hell is going on. Amy comes clean and tells him it's her hubby but he's an abusive son of a bitch...should he trust her? I mean he just met her at a bar.



From here on in everything is questionable and nothing is anything like what it seems. Mitch now is being charged with murder and is running from a stranger who is suddenly trying to kill him along with the law who is trying to throw him behind bars. Poor guys been stalked, beat, and ran off the road all within a matter of hours. Slowly he begins to piece things together enough to try and take them down.  

The problem here is time is limited and he is greatly out numbered with the odds highly stacked against him  His quick thinking manages to get him to the finish line but will he be able to cross it alive? Fatal Call is a thriller told in the means of flashbacks and bursts of the present which was played out well and meshed
together perfectly






https://www.facebook.com/pages/Fatal-Call/162246320527480

Slip and Fall

Release Date: 2011
Directed by: Marc Colucci
90 Minutes
Comedy

William Forsythe is in the house! I just finished up Slip and Fall from Director Marc Colucci
and I fucking loved it! I was giggling like a little school girl at the bold quirky ways of
this film. Danny Cuemdumpstier is in law school and has a bear of a teacher Dean Dickman who
continuously calls him cum dumpster purposely pretending to not know he is mispronouncing it.

Dan needs to come up with amazing amount of cash to finish up his last year in Law School or of
course he won't graduate and will lose his job at the firm where he now works. His crazy Russian
girlfriend Henryka loves the thought of him making money and is a total brute that slaps him around
the trailer he lives in with his grandmother while sexually manipulating him. .

Jerry (William Forsythe)his boss comes up with a scam for Danny to slip and fall down the campus steps so he can sue. Watching these two put the plan in action was ridicules and you can't help but laugh. After the hospital checks out his injuries Jerry takes him over to his crooked homo phobe  Lawyer Jimmy who is a straight up pig ad loves to brag of his freaky sexcapades. The expressions on wholesome Danny's face as he listens are priceless!

     
It's a funny but dirty humored film that you have to have the stomach for so prudes steer clear!
If you can handle all of the naughty nonsense you will blast thru this in no time. It's a situation
that spirals  outta control so fast it'll leave your head spinning. I would not of been able to deliver
half of my lines if it were me there trying to deliver them.





http://loomisland.com/slipandfall/
https://www.facebook.com/slipandfall?v=wall

Stalked at 17

Release date: 10-27-2012
Directed by: Doug Campbell
90 Minutes
also aired on Lifetime Television

Young love is just the sweetest thing... right? I mean you know how it is, the lust is
mistaken for love and they truly believe they'll be together forever and  hell nor
high water can rip them apart. In Doug Campbell's Stalked at 17 Angela is 16 and still in
High school but is on her way to bigger and better things in college.


On a walk thru campus Angela and her new friend Tenaya are approached by a few frat boys and soon they are headed to a wild party. Angela gets caught up with Chad and they head upstairs where
he charms the pants off of her. A few weeks later surprise- she's puking up lunch at school
and the EPT pregnancy stick lights up like a Christmas tree.   

As time goes on Chad lets his real persona out and it's angry, obsessive, controlling and mean.
Angela decides to keep the baby and finds out some secrets that Chad has kept from her and ends
up mind blown. Her parents are forbidding the relationship and Angela seems to be finally realizing
what a total mess he is. 

So one night Chad sneaks in and corners her in the kitchen with a gun and says he is taking the baby
and leaving - she's coming along whether she wants to or not! This situation can't end well, right?
So can Chad's  kidnapping them somehow complete his sick fantasy of finally having a complete family all of his own?
 

https://www.facebook.com/StalkedAt17