Deadly Renovations

Released May 25th 2012

Directed by Robert H. Gwinn

 

 

 

 

The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol

Directed by: Aramis Sartorio 91 Minutes Release Date 3/27/2012 A total loser named Tommy Pistol is running about forty five minutes late to an audition so he speeds down the road like a maniac trying to get there. Well the director tells him to fuck off so he heads home to his girlfriend and their son. He comes in earlier an usual since he was fired from his job at the record store. So now his family has left him because he can not manage to get his priorities straight- they are all fucked up! Now his hot wife is gone so he gets naked on the couch with a penis pump, some porn and just goes at it.This guys such a loser he can't even stay awake to masturbate! So in his head he's walking down the street and comes to a whore named Daisy who is willing. Too bad for her the spider that bites her gives her a staph infection that goes wild and rampant. This part of the film is absolutely vomit worthy so you might need a bucket or trough for that matter. There are a few sequences in this dream stage but I'm not gonna ruin it for ya!

Operation: Nazi Zombies

Release Date: 2012 87 Minutes Directed by: David B. Stewart III       David B. Stewart III's Operation: Nazi Zombies actually sat on the shelf for about four years before it was picked up for distribution. After you view it, you can decide for yourself if you think it should of permanently stayed there! So here we have a group of Army Special Forces that head out to this secret biological weapons facility and things get a tad hectic!   They become infected by this Nazi experiment that was recreated by the Army Chemical Corps and the CIA after World War II. These poor boys are stuck with some hungry zombies and also the Government assassins from hell! Which one do you think you'd rather be stuck with let alone both? Talk about a living hell!     Imagine being thrown there to die with those flesh eating bastards...only the strong will survive the debauchery they were pushed in to. The zombies were cool looking and in the one scene it's cries were particularly disturbing as he repetitively did it. I have screened plenty of zombie movies, and this is one of the better ones.

 

 

Mourning Wood

Release Date: July 24th 2012 Directed by: Ryan Convery 79 Minutes In Ryan Convery's film Mourning Wood, the infomercial Guru Dr. Jacob Pendelton has invented products like Dick Killer condoms and his newest discovery is called Shampube. It promises to remove all that funk down below. Well it removes the grime but you turn into a sex crazed zombie who humps everything! Now you have to be able to handle this whole concept because the sperm in splashing all over in this one- I mean buckets full. Everyone that comes into contact with these vile perverted fucks end up white washed in spew! Did I laugh? At times I honestly did but a know a few women who would be all uptight with it and freak. I loved that alot of the actors play several different parts in the film, when you watch you'll see what I mean. To enjoy this film you need an open mind and a wild sense a humor. It's campy B movie hi jinks  will have you giggling or muttering "Ew, gross!" If you could dream up a different way to be infected by a zombie what would you choose?

Lost Woods

Directed by: Philip and Nathan Ellering Release Date: March 2, 2012 88 Minutes Darrin is just kicking back enjoying his day to day routine when there's a little break in the monotony as some friends come by to convince him to go with them camping. He is a tad hesitant since a boy named Nunez went missing up in those woods and hasn't been heard from since. After awhile you can tell that Darrin is really glad he went. His bud Rey is the rugged outdoors type while his sister Lucy is clearly smitten with Darrin. They chillax near the bonfire drinking beers with Warren and Goofball George. All of them enjoy the Nature trails and go cliff diving Two bullying rednecks with a rifle swipe Rey's trusty blade on their way back to the site and he vows revenge. But that might not be able to come into play because a deadly Sasquatch is now hunting them like prey while knocking them off one by one. The beast looks a tad goofy but that's OK because it's a cool storyline and you can totally imagine yourself being in their shoes. Will anyone in their close circle of friends survive to tell the tale? Or will they all end up just body parts scattered thru the woods? The answer to that is.... watch it!

Author Linda Deleon ISBN-13: 9781452042299 Publisher: AuthorHouse Publication date: 8/6/2010           James Stuart, the Earl of Forbes has spent the last grueling 800 years alone, never finding true love until the day he met Claire. The only problem is that James is carrying a huge secret within him and desperately trying to keep the world from finding out that he is indeed a vampire. He has manage to walk among the living without being detected and only feeds on humans who are criminals or vagrants living in alleys. One fine day he bumps into Claire Collins and is instantly smitten and her feelings mirror his.   They spend the every possible moment they can with each other for rest of her vacation. They day she departs he falls into a deep depressing and on impulse goes to get her. They become fast friends and lovers.   James ex Vanessa is still pining away for him and will stop at nothing to rid him of his new love attachment. So James takes Claire on a trip to meet some of his historical buddies and has them train her to battle against Vanessa. I really liked that the romance was fast-paced not some drawn out time consuming courtship. Plus the use of the Rosary was pretty darn clever. I am not big on history but I really enjoyed learning some interesting tidbits and actually craved more. I have her new book which is her prequel to this one and I can't wait to get into it. Pick this up, you won't regret it!

The Fields

The Fields Release Date: 4/24/2012 98 Minutes Directed by: Tom Mattera, David Mazzoni This story takes place in the countryside of Pennsylvania where the corn fields seem to harbor some sort evil. Steven is sent to stay with his grand parents on their farm while his parents Bonnie and Barry try to sort out their marital problems- basically she wants to party and run around on him and he ain't having it!   Around the same time Steven is headed to the farm the infamous Manson murders have just occurred. it becomes an obsession to Steven that Manson will escape and hunt him down to kill him. One look at Charlie on the news scared the death out of that boy and that horrible face became imprinted in his mind. His grandparents love having him but repeatedly warn him to stay out of those cornfields- so of course we all know what Steven's going to do right? Run into those damn dry husked fields and sees way more than he bargained for. He manages to make it out and suddenly strange occurrences start to happen in the house. Each night is more intense then the next....is it spirits from the cornfield? Or could it be for some reason Mr. Manson himself would like to pay the little boy a nice visit? Will his parents ever work it out and be able to move on from the past? Cloris Leachman was a gem in this one, she reminded of my grandmother.